Everything we do for one reason or another.
Nothing we do is in a vacuum. The reasons vary, but there are several factors that drive our actions and decisions. The relationships in our life can be among the most influential factors, both for good and for bad. In addition, we can play quite the antagonist in our very own starring
role and keep ourselves from taking action towards the goals we desire
The messages we receive from others, whether intentional or not, can affect us in many ways. In fact, they can also prove challenging as we become adults and begin to develop our own path. Relationships can be highly positive, constructive and rewarding, but even still, we have to separate what we want out of life from what others want for us.
Sometimes we can even catch ourselves casting doubt on our abilities. There are other times when we don’t have any idea about the antagonist taking control.
Given the fact that this is your life, a life you may share with others but are wholly responsible for, here are a few strategies in helping you make the most of it!
1. Imagine that you had a conversation with the bravest and most courageous version of yourself. What would this version of you tell you? What questions would you be curious to ask? What do you notice in common between the two of you?
2. Be kind to yourself. We make mistakes. We disappoint people, including ourselves. Recognize and appreciate your true self–faults and all. You are far from perfect, but you are you! There are people who care and appreciate you because of the entire package you represent. Most importantly, you must think of all the things you love about yourself. Don’t beat yourself up. Learn and grow.
3. Be fair to yourself. No one ever reaches their destination without taking a turn somewhere along the way. We all come up short somewhere, somehow and with someone. However, there is always time and opportunity to correct our course. Your shortcomings now could lay the path for growth. Think about how the twists and turns of your life have benefited you?
4. What makes up the foundation for your goals and dreams? Write down the words, images, and emotions that come up in your mind. Imagine yourself living your dreams as if you were there or had accomplished the major task.
5. Hold strong to your convictions. When you feel good about what you are doing, you will feel it. Begin going against the things that are most important to you and you will soon regret it. Listen to that feeling or little voice and feed as much as possible. The more you hold strong to your conviction, the easier the path will become and the further ahead you’ll get.
6. Positive affirmations. Remind yourself of the many good things you do, the success you’ve had and the many other things you are thankful for. Remember that it is important to see the world as it is, with many options and possibilities. There may not ever be just one, singular best path, but many, instead. In combining you as a variable, along with the ride life provides, there is no telling the many great places it will take you.
7. Are the goals alive or dead? Things change with time, including people and their wants and desires. How about your goals? Did you once really want to be a doctor, but learned in college that it was really your parents who wanted you to be a doctor and you who wanted to make them happy? Did you really want to learn Chinese last year, but have since realized that you’ll likely never practice it and there are better things you can do with your time and money? It’s okay for goals to come and go. What’s not okay is for you to stop having goals altogether and for them to reflect who you are today.
What lessons have you learned about life and the mastery of allowing goals to evolve along with you? How have you learned to push for YOUR goals?